On October 1st, I went into preterm labor. I was 31 weeks 2 days. My hospital is only Neonatal Care rated to care for babies born after 32 weeks. Some babies born before can be cared for there, some born after need more help than they can offer, but that is the guideline. Because of this, I had to get transferred to Abbott in Minneapolis while on a wonderful drug called Magnesium Sulfate.
Magnesium sulfate (or Mag) is some of the worst hell I have ever been through in so many ways. It's like being drunk and hung over at the same time. Head ache, nausea, dizziness, blurred vision, I would even have what I called "episodes." An episode was when I could no longer control myself on over the drug and it would do what it wanted to me. I remember one episode, my boyfriend Matt was watching the Vikings/Packers game and I just started shaking. I had a chill. I couldn't open my eyes because any light hurt my head ache. My body hurt. My ability to control what I said was gone. I apparently was talking to him but I was slurring my words so he didn't know what I was saying. This lasted for 5 hours.
Finally, on Saturday the 4th, I was discharged on bed rest. I was so excited to get my older boys back on Sunday morning I didn't care what restrictions I was on. I just was happy to be home. Sunday morning when I got up to get ready to get my kids, I realized I was bleeding and contracting again. My labor was back on.
Sunday morning I got admitted into my hospital. I was put back on Mag. I sat there until Wednesday and continually was given different answers. "You're going home tomorrow." "Never mind." "You might just go into labor with these drugs anyway." "Never mind." No restrictions except pretty strict bed rest and those hospital beds suck.
All night Tuesday and part of the day Wednesday I was somewhat lying to the nurses. I was contracting, and I was having them give me Tylenol for the pain from them. I told them it was for a headache. I was set on busting out of that place to see my kids. The nurses could see my contractions on the monitor but they couldn't see me fighting them in my room by myself. I didn't care if I had to come back, I just wanted out.
The whole thing was so frustrating! I was missing my kids and feeling like a failure, but a half hour before I was finally going to be discharged on Wednesday the 8th, my water broke. Suddenly, the bitch who had been cooped up eating hospital food and not allowed to leave the bed aside from going to the bathroom was incredibly happy! I called Matt and told him to get his ass to Waconia, he was going to be a daddy. Then I called my nurse. Order of importance here.
At 7:42 pm, three hours after my water broke, my little angel was born a healthy 5 pounds 2 ounces, and 18 inches long. They were expecting a closer to 3 and a half pound 16.5-17 incher. He was always able to breathe on his own but needed a little help keeping pressure in his lungs for the first 12 hours. Since then he has been breathing entirely on his own.
When I saw him yesterday, he was almost back up to birth weight, coming off of the iv fluids that give him some of his nutrition, got taken off the incubator because he is warm enough on his own to have clothes and blankets on, AND he nursed for the first time! These are all incredible steps towards coming home. I can't wait!
This whole process has been an emotional journey. I've gone to crazy, psycho, pregnant bitch to happy "I love my baby, I'm so blessed" mom, to "I'm a failure, I couldn't even stay pregnant, now I can't breastfeed. I am a failure to my son." to "I can do this! If my son can grow and be strong after being born so early, I can stay strong for him and his brothers. I can do this. Before I know it, he will be home." This journey has not been an easy one, and it will not get any easier. This process will have more destinations, some that I wouldn't mind staying at, some that I will wish I never stopped at in the first place. Until then, I will have the most beautiful little family even if we are separated. I am so incredibly blessed!
Jack Mathew Schlueter
Born October 8th
7:42 pm
5 pounds 2 ounces
18 inches long
7 weeks 5 days premature
Wow, that sounds like some emotional journey. I don’t think anyone is going to have an experience quite like yours this week. I know that my brother’s old girlfriend was on bed rest following her delivery, and she basically described it as prison. Sometimes I just appreciate being a man because the whole labor experience has never been described as pleasant to me. That magnesium sulfate really sounds like a killer. Those side effects must have been just awful. They should really have better painkillers than that if it causes those reactions. I’m glad to hear that both you and baby Jack are safe and healthy, and congratulations!
ReplyDeleteYou're always going to be glad you have this post, Meg, to help you remember this stressful--blessed--time in your life. Isn't it bizarre, the way we women can feel like "failures" in the face of Nature taking its course? I have had those feelings with my pregnancies, and now, years after the fact, I can see that it's not rational. But it's very real. Yay for the new configuration of your family; Jack is looking great!
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